October 27, 2011 (Holy Gallbladder Batman!)

The doc seems to have finally found what has been causing me to feel ill so often. First they tested my blood and had an ultra-sound test done. They both came back normal, except they did mention my liver being enlarged. Which I then Googled and was convinced that I was going to die if I didn't get a liver transplant. That's a story for another day though. I met with my doctor to go over those results and he sent me in to have a HIDA scan done of my gallbladder. It shows an expulsion rate in my gallbladder of 9%, 30% being normal. So he said I have a abnormal or non-working gallbladder, something like that. So I now have to meet with a surgeon in a couple weeks to get that sucker pulled out.

The news of getting a surgery done led me to the internet to see how long I will be unable to swim, bike and run. I was not too happy with what I found. A lot of people saying that having their gallbladder removed was the worst thing they ever did. They say they suffer from all sorts of digestive problems and pains worse then when they did have the gallbladder. Not only that but the best time frame I could find about getting back to the gym was a few weeks out from surgery. So I'm stressing about all of this pretty bad. Hopefully the surgery will happen in the off season so I don't miss any of my training, but that is yet to be determined. Worst case scenario for me at this point is having chronic digestive problems and racing in Ironman Wisconsin. That could prove to be a disastrous day...

I have a bit of an anxiety problem, if you know me at all then you already know this. I try to stay ahead of the game when it comes to being sick or getting hurt. Any little pain I get I want someone, with an education, to tell me I'm ok. Even though I probably know my body better than anyone else does, something I'm starting to realize. But first the "enlarged liver" news, and now the gallbladder news. With the liver deal, the first thing I though of was Cadence with a new dad if I were no longer here. Wow, that's no fun to think about, at all. Luckily that news was false and I was able to move on. Second, the gallbladder news and the first thing that I thought about then was Ironman. I know that best case scenario I will be out for a few weeks and I am having a hard time wrapping my head around that. I really do need the time off to let my body heal and to give my head a rest from the training. So it's not that I'm worried about having to "catch up". The problem I am having has to do with whether I will be the same person after all of this. So many times in my life I have changed what I find interesting or entertaining. I have also changed friends, goals, principles, everything! My biggest fear of this surgery is not anything more than my intense fear of failing. There is no way for me or anyone to say that after this is all done that I will be back at it or if I will enjoy sitting around doing nothing too much to return. I honestly don't see that happening but I also can't tell the future and no one else can either. Will I let myself get too comfortable or will I be so anxious to get back to it that when I start I'm disappointed with my results and feel defeated? There are so many questions I have that only time can answer and with the anxiety I have about it, the situation is hard for me. Funny thing though is that I heard a quote last night on Parks 'n' Rec. I know it's not a likely place to hear an inspirational quote but it was said at the right time for it to ring true to me. "Failure isn't the going down, it's the staying down."

The New shoes, Asics 2160. The shoes I had to take back were Mizuno. Asics Are grrrreat!

My training last week was pretty good, for the most part. I thought I would try a new brand of shoe which proved to be a huge mistake. While running on Monday at a very easy pace my left calf just gave up on me. I have been limping all week because of it! I was only 4 minutes into my run and a pain just shot up my leg and I was done. I have been able to continue with my other workouts like lifting and biking so I have other things I can do, but running is so important. I really don't want to not be running for too long. Luckily next week is a recovery week so I will get some time to let it get better. Today's Yoga session seemed to have helped a lot since today is the first day I am able to walk correctly. Next week will be a light cardio with Yoga alternating each day for the entire week. I'm thinking I will just ride my bike with my HR in zone 3 for the cardio and that should be good.

These are what they looked like, but this is not my picture. http://quickfeetgoodeats.com 

Last night I made Funfetti Cake Balls to take to work. Not gonna lie, I ate some, ok alot, of them last night too. They were really good and they are all gone now. The potluck at work was pretty fun. It seems like the moral has been much better since some time last week, weird.