The secret to losing weight!

This picture is the day I failed my fitness test. And I know how dumb the pose is,  I didn't chose that. I was  270lbs  on this day which was much lower than shortly before. You will also notice the Flaming Lips wrist band I'm still wearing. 

Before I started my weight loss journey, about 3 years ago, I was literally the complete opposite of the person I am now. If you would have told me then that I would ever have ran a Marathon or finished a Triathlon (of any distance) or even considered training for an IRONMAN, I would have probably just puked at the thought. I remember saying, somewhat jokingly, that I based my life after The Dude. The Dude being The Big Lebowski. I wanted to be lazy and just sit. I was addicted to playing World of Warcraft like it was crack. Back then I would get off of work, go home, grab my smokes and ashtray, computer and then sit on the couch from 5:30 to about midnight playing WoW (World of Warcraft). I would hold off going to the bathroom until it hurt too much to hold. I would order out almost every night, usually pizza. And it was always a large potato alfredo pizza with an order of Italian fries. Wow, it's good stuff. If I didn't have the cash to order out, I would cook. This is sad to admit but I would cook up some Hamburger Helper. I would tell myself that half was for dinner and half was for leftovers, only it never came in halves. That's an entire box of the Hamburger Helper stuff and 1lb of beef, I ate that all in one sitting. And to top it off, it didn't even fill me up. I never ate anything by the serving, only by the package. I was on a fast road to heart disease and severe health problems.

So how does someone with this lifestyle of massively overeating, smoking and complete inactivity get to be a marathon finisher, a triathlete and an Ironman in training? By figuring out what it is that it takes to be healthy. I have talked about the Aha moment before and how it can snap you out of some bad habits. Well that's true, but you also have to keep that Aha and hold on to it for dear life. 

When people want to talk about weight loss I feel that 100% of the time they are genuine. They really do want to lose weight. I remember how it feels to look around and realize you are the fattest person in the room, at the party, in the building or that you know... It's not fun and in all of those days of gluttonous glory I wanted it to be different. Several times I would tell people I had started to workout and eat right. Looking back on that, I had absolutely no idea what those two things were. We used to eat a box of mac and cheese with fish sticks and we honestly thought it was healthy. Or we would bake diced potatoes in a a vat of butter and consider it healthy because it was vegetables. I don't think we were alone in this train of thought either. I would say that most of our country is under the same impression. But let me tell you, eating healthy and working out is not something you can consider a diet. It's not something you can do until you hit that goal weight and then go back to the way things were. It's going to be a life long commitment.

This is the day I passed my fitness test and weighed 248lbs. Body fat was 35%, today around 15%. The week of Ironman, I will post pictures in these poses to compare. I need to redeem this but I want you to see what I was.

Let me back track just a bit. When I used to ask someone who had lost weight how they did it, I wanted to hear them say, "take this pill" or "it's easy". Guess what, no one ever said that. I remember someone in high school that was overweight getting in shape. I asked him what he did and he told me he ran. I thought to myself, "DAMNIT!" That seemed to be a going trend though. Anyone who had lost weight had done some actual work for it. I was just never ready to hear that.

Finally, a short time after our daughter was born I caught a glimpse of a man that worked in the restaurant next to my work. His name was Kevin and he was skinny as hell. I remember him being fairly big, not like me but definitely in poor shape. But this day he looked all sorts of svelt. So I asked him or someone I worked with what he had done. They responded with Farrell's Xtreme Bodyshaping. I thought about it for a while and asked for a membership for Christmas, it can be a bit pricey, especially to a new dad still holding on to expensive habits.

Without being an infomercial on Farrell's (Altoona location) I will just say that the place is amazing. The people are great, everything about it was exactly what a fat dirt bag like myself needed. We made friends and learned a lot about healthy living and also who we were. The confidence we gained through this program sling shotted both Nicole and I into our future. We continued with FXB for a year, and I even tried my hand at a tad bit of instructing. But the true test was when I felt I was able to let go of FXB. It was my comfort zone and my home away from home. But I wanted to see what I had in me so I continued on to where I am today.

Now let me just plain out tell you the secret to weight loss. To lose weight you first have to realize that you are not going on a diet. Diet sounds temporary and what you are going to do is FOREVER. You have to be ready to sacrifice a lot of what you know to get what you don't know. And let me tell you, it is soooo worth it. Now that doesn't mean you can never enjoy a donut or cookie, trust me, I tear that shit up. But I only do it once in a while. If you are ready for this just try giving yourself one day a week where you can eat whatever you want. Every other day count your calories and your nutrient levels. Use something like www.livestrong.com. Every time I have kept track of what I eat I lose weight like nobodies business. And after you can let it go, turn that free day into a cheat meal. If you track your calories all week, including on a free day, you will see that your calorie deficit takes a huge hit on free day. So you can keep that to a minimum by turning day into meal.

Second, you have to keep moving. Go walk every day, run, swim, ride a bike go to a fitness class. Just keep moving because it burns calories and gets your metabolism moving. If you are like me and lack motivation for this get into a class like Farrell's or most gyms have free classes with membership. When I was told I needed a doctors note to workout at Farrells, I bought a kettlebell and video. I worked out at home and lost 25lbs in just 10 weeks. It is possible to do it on your own, just a bit more challenging and a little less fun. You can also google something like Tabata workout or Crossfit workout. Do something like that, they are short and hardcore.

And lastly, don't beat yourself up for not being perfect. If you are anything like me in your weight loss journey you will seriously consider going to the toilet to expel the candy bar you just ate that was not on a free day. Or beating yourself up because you only finished 8 of 10 hill climbs, like today. You have to be able to understand that you will not always do it perfect but that tomorrow you will go to better.

Since I don't proof anything I ever write, I hope that all makes sense. And if you reached this part of my blog then you have surely benefited greatly from my wisdom. In that case you owe me a donation, please go to www.im4rm.com to make a donation. Or better yet, if you are wanting to get started in fitness, sign up for Ironglut! It will be a good ass kicking that will show you what a workout is and break the ice for you. Once you realize that everyone at the gym looks as silly as you, it makes it easier to go. I avoided it for a long time for that reason. Anyways, thanks for reading and you really don't have to donate but it would be nice.

IT'S FINALLY DONE! Well, kinda...

The project we have been working on is finally up and running as of today. Our events that we have been planning and stressing about are finally ready for participants. It's all coming together finally and the stress level is starting to lower, finally. It's going to be worth it though considering we can only do good. Even if only $2 is raised, which we have already passed, we will have succeeded. So there is no failing now! To what degree we succeed is another thought though.

When we were meeting with Nick Inglett at Fitness World West discussing our Ironglut event. I was explaining why I felt so strongly about supporting Children's Cancer Connection. Until actually talking about it I don't think I really even knew what it was about what they do that made me want to help them so much.

I explained to Nick that when I was attending DMACC, and by attending I mean honing my ping pong skills, that we had a hypnotist entertain us one day. The hypnotist told us a story about the power of the mind to help us understand how hypnotism works. He told us that he himself had at one time had a tumor inside his brain. He went on to say that he declined modern medicine because he knew the power of his mind. Then he said that he was able to fight cancer by using the power of positive thoughts and energy to turn his death sentence into a new life.

We have all had the coach or parent that will tell us to, "Walk it off". I think that this idea is more powerful than getting over a stubbed toe or a banged knee. I don't necessarily think that a person can walk off illness or disease. But I do think that the mind plays a huge roll in your recovery and also determines the amount of fight that your body has in it. The way you react to a situation inside your head will determine how your body reacts.

Back to my meeting with Nick... So after we wrap up our discussion he says, "Let's go save some kids." Until he had said that I didn't consider what we were doing as saving kids. I thought of it as bringing happiness to kids and families in a super tough time. But when I started to think of what I told him about my experience and then put that with what he said, it really made since. We are making kids smile that are going through the most difficult they will ever face. Not just as a kid, but forever. Cancer is something that will effect the rest of their lives no matter the outcome. But yes, we are helping them feel better. At the same time what if one of the services that Children's Cancer Connection provides is the one thing that sets that child's mind in a positive direction. That direction helps that child fight through chemo treatments or through any of the several side effects of the disease and it's different treatments?

Well, I made it through the holidays with minimal weight gain if any really. I didn't think I did very well but everything is good. I am officially now in the Ironman training plan and I can't tell you enough how much I love this plan. The off season plan was great and so far the Triathlon Dominator is legit. The strength workouts are extremely tough and challenging. I'm having a blast riding my bike by myself in my living room at 4am and then going to the gym at 5 to lift. This stuff is awesome and I don't see myself burning out on it. Recovery days are kind of a drag because they are not challenging enough. The yoga is good though and I can tell it's helping me.

Please check out our site at www.im4rm.com and donate a bit if you can. Or sign up for the Ironglut if you have or want a rock hard ass. If you would rather find your challenge at the bottom of a glass, sign up for the Flip Cup tournament. It's all going to be fun and it's all for a great cause.

What am I not taking advantage of?

When I was a little kid I can recall being told that "This is the best time of your life". I guess I would say it was only when I was a little kid because I have been told that throughout my life, it just has to come from someone older.

I was reminded of this the other day while driving with Cadence in the car on our way home from daycare. We were listening to Christmas music and I got a feeling that I had when I was a kid. It was the kind of feeling that reminded me how at one point I believed in magic, Santa Claus, and didn't have bills to pay. I get the same kind of feeling when I smell a mixture of eraser and crayons.

If you are like me and you get these feelings of, I guess deja vu, then when it happens you focus completely on that one thing that is giving you that feeling or memory to try and keep it around for just a few seconds longer. The feeling usually goes as quickly as it comes though.

Well, the last occasion of this feeling the other day got me to thinking. "I will literally never get to be a kid again, or really have those feelings again." Magic no longer exists and Santa Claus is dead. But I was also thinking about how I should have taken advantage of life when I was a kid. I don't know how you can tell a kid to be more of a kid and do more kid stuff because they won't get it. But when I was younger I just wanted to get to be older and bigger so I could be cool.

Now I'm starting to think that maybe I'm missing something now. I'm about to turn 30 and is there something that I should be doing to take advantage of my young adult life? Maybe I'm already doing it or maybe I already did it. When I'm 80 will I look back on what I'm doing now and ask myself, "what the hell were you doing?" I spend a lot of time focusing on training, and working out. What's not spent there I spend on work. What's not spent at work is spent on my family. And then the remainder gets put toward friends. And there is even more in the list of what I need to get done in a day but that's the bulk of it. So am I using my time wisely? Is fitness actually a priority in the big picture? How about work? I highly doubt I will look back on my life and wonder why I didn't work more.

I guess this post is mostly a question. What are the things that you wish you could do more of? What do you wish you would have taken advantage of that you no longer have the opportunity to? I just hope I'm not doing something that 120 year old me will regret.

Training the past couple weeks has actually been great. I doubled up on my training the past week and a half by mistake. Made for some long days at work but the workouts were actually fun. It was challenging to try and fit so much work into a day already filled with stuff to do. But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't relieved when I found out I could cut back today.

I heard this song while running the other day and it just hit the spot. Enjoy!

Monday I was running and feeling great all the way to the finish. My calf started to knot up again so I skipped the sprints I had scheduled. I went to the doctor yesterday about my foot and he recommended that I get my old shoe size back on and give it a try. He thinks that the narrower shoe is squeezing my foot forcing me to land on a smaller area which is causing my pain. So my  freakish foot size (8.5 4E) is on order and should be here by early next week.

Back to the calf issue. I have an appointment on Monday to see the physical therapist. I imagine they will do some ultrasound and massage. Maybe put a heal lift in my shoe again since I'm lopsided. I also just purchased a Foam Roller that arrived today. It's pretty nice I rolled a little bit over my lunch and will do some more before bed. It feels alot better than a tennis ball and I can get more pressure than I can from the stick. I would feel better after a doctor tells me that I don't have a torn muscle or something serious. Pretty sure the muscle is just tight and balled up.

Looks like my Ironman schedule is going to change a bit too. I was planning on going to Texas for the Buffalo Springs Lake 70.3. But I found one that is just 2 weeks later in Indiana. So it will be a much shorter drive and the reviews I found on this race sound pretty good. It also means that I will probably be able to do Copper Creek Triathlon still. I was really hoping to do this race because I want to kill it! I would really like to see some hard work pay off in just one race next year with a podium finish. Even if it's a small race and I'm the only one in my age group. So if it ends up fitting into the schedule I plan on going as hard as I can for it.

Our "Spin-a-thon" is coming together. Sounds like we have some gym's interested in hosting us. Our site will be going live at the end of this month and we will officially be seeking donations. We are still looking for sponsors so if you or anyone you know would be interested please contact me. Our charity, Children's Cancer Connection, is very worthy and I would be happy to share more information about them if you would like. We do have a couple sponsors and possible a couple more in the works. So thank you to our current sponsors, Traviss Audio Video, Legacy Stone of Eastern Iowa and Xtreme Hit. Your help is going to make a big difference in a lot of peoples lives.

The Skinny or Fat Debate and the Aha Moment!

Recently my wife posted an image that from Pinterest that shows an illusration of a larger woman with the caption "Skinny Girls are for Wimps". It seemed to have gotten more than a couple people fairly fired up. The reason she posted it stems from what her and I have been discussing lately. Something that we have seen quite a bit of on Pinterest, and no it's not delicious looking cookies. The consensus of the debate is that no one should make another person feel ugly because of their shape...

I agree that making someone feeling bad about themselves is not a very good approach to helping them see the light or to convert their sinful ways. I do know that when a co-worker has told me that my kid would go to hell since I was not a Christian I didn't rush to the nearest church for my baptism. In fact it did the very opposite... So why would telling an obese person that what they are doing to their body will eventually kill them? Why does showing a tar filled lung of a smoker do nothing to help them quit? In my experience I was finding my happiness in things that were unhealthy for me; food, smoking, etc... 

Let's get back to the image on Pinterest before I start rambling, then the next thing you know is I'm sharing recipes or something. So Nicole and I have been talking about how so many people on Pinterest will post an image of a model, or fitness model and comment on how their ribs show and they should eat a burger. Or their muscles are ugly and that being fat is better than having that muscle. But at the same time if a person were to post an image of an overweight person and say they should cut out the donuts or maybe run a few blocks, everyone would be throwing a fit. When did it become ok to celebrate the lazy and chastise the hard working people? Well, it's not ok and not only do I know it but the people making the comments know it. The people making the comments are trying to convince everyone else that they are happy with how they look. That they are choosing to not have that body because it disgusts them. I know this because I was there, I have done it. Anyone skinnier than me needed to eat more and anyone bigger than me was fat. I did it to help myself feel better, right or wrong, it's what I did. So I understand why they do this, but how do you make the person that tries to build themself up by destroying another's image?

And secondly on this subject. Why are we telling ourselves and others that fat is beautiful? When I was big I knew this wasn't true, I hated my body. My problem was that I lacked the spark and motivation to do anything about it. I just dealt with it by medicating myself in different ways. I remember looking in the mirror and saying I would try to lose weight once I was over 250 or when my belly started to hang over my jeans. Well, neither of these two things did the trick for me. Being overweight isn't even about what is or isn't attractive. It's about what's healthy and living your life. I was having fun with the activities I was doing then, going to concerts and hanging out with friends all the time. But at the same time, life was hard to enjoy when I would literally run out of breath bending over to tie my shoes. That is one feeling I will never forget. I swim, bike, run, lift weights and do all of these active things when at one point I could barely tie my shoes without getting winded. Granted it was mostly due to my ginormous gut getting in the way. 

When you really consider the state of our nations health when it comes to weight, why is it so hard for people to see the problem? You DO NOT have to give up everything you love to eat and do to be healthy. You will have to cut back, probably by a lot, but you still get those things. I could not do this if I just couldn't have the junk food that I love. I limit it to once a week and I am able to manage just fine. If I slip up and have a little more than what I should, I get over it and move on. I don't beat myself up if I overeat I'm not going to instantly fat again. I had to change my lifestyle to become fit but I didn't have to give up everything to do it. When more people realize that you don't have to do a fad diet the rest of your life and that you can just cut back, maybe our country will get a bit more fit.

And finally the "AHA" moment. For me it was my daughter and my wife. I could see the path we were going down and I didn't see much of a future for any of us. We were doing things that would probably make our daughter embarrassed of us at some point. I want nothing more than to be a hero to just one person, and that wasn't going  to happen being fat Caleb. And I also know that I was dragging Nicole down, and she is full of potential that I was keeping her from. So to be exact, my aha moment was my family. Another aha moment was watching the 2008 Ironman World Championship on Hulu. I highly recommend you look it up and watch it. It was one of the first times in my life when I said to myself, "If they can do it, so can I". And guess what, I'm doing it!

Now to keep you up to date on my training and surgery recovery. The past couple weeks were full of breakthrough workouts. Probably mostly because I was constantly pushing myself beyond what I thought I should because I want to be back to normal. I did several double spin classes last week after 3 days of walking. The walking really screwed up my hip and foot so I couldn't have continued with that. Not sure what was going on but I was hurting from walking. Today I did an interval workout on the elliptical and followed it by a quick jog in the gym to test out the legs and see how the belly felt. Well, everything is good except for a little soreness where my 4 incisions are. So I will keep at the bike and elliptical this week and next week I think I should be right back on schedule. Lifting, running, swimming, biking, yoga, the elliptical and all of my good friends at the gym. So I'm pretty happy with how everything has worked out.

I have also been testing my digestion and it seems to be fairly close to normal. I ate some pretty horrible foods this Thanksgiving, as in bad for you, and also went out to eat and drinking this last weekend. Everything went good so I can still enjoy all the things I used to without any problems. So I'm pretty excited about that! I did try a banana again the other night with disastrous results. I had problems in the past with them but figured they were gallbladder issues. So I tried it again the other night and ended up sick all night. So bad that I skipped the gym the next morning, which never happens. No bananas or pineapple for me ever again, and maybe even sweet potatoes. But there are other things to eat that I like. Tonight I am trying Ryan Irwin and Nicole's recipe for Casein Protein and Peanut Butter Pudding. I will let you know how that goes.

November 11, 2011 (Surgery Recovery)

This past week was fairly stressful leading up to my surgery. Looking online for other peoples stories about having gallbladder problems and surgery is enough to scare anyone. I'd be lying if I was ever convinced leading up to the surgery that it was the right decision. At this point, I'm still not completely convinced but I don't see myself as every having a decision in the matter. I could have skipped the surgery and waited to see if it came to he point of emergency surgery or to the point of unbearable pain. My decision was based on the fact that I am in my off season training and I have time to recover. Had I waited, it's possible that my racing season next year could be blown.

I was able to continue all of my scheduled workouts last week leading up to my surgery, which was Friday. The morning of, I had Yoga scheduled. I had a hard time focusing and was only able to complete about 30 minutes worth before stopping. I just couldn't get my head into it, and I was doing a new workout that I was unprepared for so it wasn't feeling the fulfilling.

I also met with our charity last week and we have decided on a date for our indoor cycling event as well as some of the details. I'm hoping we have some major decisions made on that in the next week or two so we can really get to work on it. I really want this to be a success for them, and for my grandpa. I have been sending out a few emails regarding our fundraising and so far it's fairly discouraging who isn't responding. Some places I really counted on getting their support are not even acknowledging me. Makes it hard to want to continue being a customer of these companies, but I will give them more time and hopefully they will come around. But really, you could at least tell me know and not just ignore me. Ignoring me will not get me to go away, I promise. On the other hand I am getting responses from unexpected people that are expressing their support, which really inspires me to keep pushing on and things will work out.

Today I was able to get back to the gym. Just being at the gym made me feel like I'm getting something done. I was able to walk for about an hour which was around 3 miles or more. It wasn't what I'm used to but it felt really good. I plan on being at the gym every day now and will keep pushing it so that I don't get set too far back. I really don't expect to fall too far behind. My pain level has been fairly low, I haven't really taken any of my pain meds out of necessity. Maybe a little out of boredom though... It's surprising what drugs the doc will give you for something like this. Honestly, I could make do with Tylenol if needed. But they gave me about 50 Hydrocodone with a refill within 6 months. I can't believe that, no wonder pill addiction is such a problem. I don't plan on finishing this bottle let alone a refill. And why would they give a refill in 6 months when I should be fully recovered in a matter of weeks? Sometimes it seems like doctors are trying to keep us sick or something. I don't trust prescription drugs at all.

My nutrition has not been that great since the surgery though. Which I kind of expected so I am not beating myself up about it. I feel that today I will be getting that back on track so I am throwing out whatever junk food is left today, maybe... I have  been digging on the grilled cheese sandwiches quite a bit, forgot how much I love those. Thinking about making some stir fry tonight for dinner, maybe with egg and no chicken though.

Right now I am probably ok to return to work but I will probably hold off until Tuesday. I can't lie,  I'm not in a huge rush to get back. I left things pretty caught up so I don't think they will miss me one more day. I am super ready for Thanksgiving though. I've been daydreaming about some apple pie all week. In fact yesterday, I made Apple Cinnamon Oatmeal and then put vanilla ice cream on it. It was legit!

Anyways, sorry for the boring update but that's life. If you don't hear from me until after Thanksgiving, have a good holiday and eat as much as you can. As long as you plan on working it off!

November 7, 2012 (How far CAN you go?)

There have been countless times in my short life as a parent that I have said to myself, "If anyone ever hurts my daughter or family I will..." I know for a fact that every parent out there has said this. That's our job as parents, to protect our kids and families to the very last breath if needed. I know that if Cadence were sick and I were given the option to take all of her sickness into my own body I wouldn't think twice about it if it meant her life would continue. I would literally do ANYTHING for her.

While all of us parents have these feelings, why is it that it takes such a drastic situation for us to realize our potential as parents? Right now we have the opportunity to be the hero or heroin to our kids. Although our kids will see us as their idols, hopefully, have we really done anything to deserve that? What reason do they have to see us as not just Mom and Dad but as who the aspire to be. I often feel like my life is in a rut, like I'm maxed out with what I have in material things. I don't like my house, my job, my car and so on. In no way am I saying I live without or that I base my success on these things, because I don't. But I realize that I deal with these things because these are the things that allow me to provide and protect my family. I also realize, actually just moments ago, what it means that I never give up improving myself and moving forward. I can never say that I am satisfied with where I am at in life or with what I am doing. I need to always be improving myself so that I can be the idol to my daughter. I realize that I need to keep going to school, even if it takes the rest of my life, so that maybe I can have a better job. I need to keep applying myself in every aspect so that Cadence will see what I do for her and Nicole.

This thinking just started a few days ago while watching Rick and Dick Hoyt. Rick has Cerebral Palsy and his dad, Dick, is an endurance athlete. Since Rick can not swim, bike or run, his Dad does it all for him. They have competed in numerous different races including 6 Ironman races! Just to complete an Ironman is quite the accomplishment. But to complete it while pulling, pedaling and pushing another person is on a whole new level. Their story truly shows what the love of a parent is meant to look like. It started when Rick told his dad that he wanted to participate in a 5 mile race that was raising money for a young man that had become paralyzed. Dick agreed and he pushed his son to the finish line. Later that night Rick told his father, "When I'm running, it feels like I am not handicapped." That was in 1977, now Dick is now 70 years old and still pushing and pulling his son so that he can feel like he is no longer handicapped.

So what would it take for you to go the distance for your kids? For me, I don't know... I'm going to keep pushing myself and maybe that will be enough. But I am waiting for the day that she asks me to do something that tests my dedication to her. I am waiting for the moment I can be a hero. Until then I will just do what I feel is right. And hopefully, if my plan works, she will ask me to run a marathon with her or better yet, and Ironman.

Now to keep you up to date on what has been going on in my world the past week. Last week I had a recovery week that was pretty great. Probably not quite as much recovery as I'm suppose to have but more than I've ever had. I was letting my calf get better so I just biked about 5 or 6 times last week, 1 elliptical interval workout and 2 Yoga sessions. I really like the Yoga and plan on keeping it around for the remainder of my training. Friday we lost another co-worker to another job and so a few people brought in some junk food. I new this was going to happen so I did an extra workout the night before to help deal with the guilt of caving. Let's just say that guilt didn't hold me back from digging into the food. What can I say, I LOVE FOOD!

Saturday Nicole and I had our official free meal. We went to Jethro's BBQ with our friend Nicole Essink and had maybe the best free meal in history. We ordered, and shared with the three of us; Fried Cheese, BBQ Sliders. Nicole and I shared the Jethro which was the hugest fried tenderloin I have ever seen topped with pulled pork, smoked ham and bacon. It was actually delicious and definitely something that needs to be split. We then ordered desserts... I had an Apple Turnover Sunday, Nicole P. had a brownie sunday and Nicole E. had a Smore sunday. They were all really good and none of us could finish them. What's funny is that mine was freezer burned, which to me means that no one ever makes it to dessert here. But you don't come between a group of ex fatties and dessert at a free meal. You are likely to walk away with a few less digits.

Today I was scheduled for a run but was having an odd pain and decided to swim instead at the last minute. Just as I was about to head to the pool from the locker room I realized I forgot my goggles. This is the kind of situation that, if no one were around, I would throw a tantrum like a little baby. But instead I asked the life guard for a loaner pair. He had a couple pairs and they were made for little girls. The pair I used was bright pink and orange striped and way too small for my face. The piece that goes over my nose was cutting into my face and it was pretty painful. The goggles wouldn't get a good seal on my face so I frequently had to stop to readjust them. Needless to say, the swim was horrible and I had to cut it short but about 500m. But I plan on considering today a recovery day and taking my Yoga day this week to make up for it, so it's not too big of a deal.

And finally, my fund raising project is about to take off but I am in need of advice and help. We are going to be looking for sponsors to help us spread the word and fund an event or two the following year. Sponsorship will not  be expensive and you can guarantee that your money will be put to good use. If you or someone you know may own or be part of a company that wants their community to recognize that they care about their neighbors then get in touch with me and I can share the details. And either way, more information is on the way soon! I promise that this is going to be a successful and awesome project that will touch a lot of lives. So don't be afraid to join and help out!

October 27, 2011 (Holy Gallbladder Batman!)

The doc seems to have finally found what has been causing me to feel ill so often. First they tested my blood and had an ultra-sound test done. They both came back normal, except they did mention my liver being enlarged. Which I then Googled and was convinced that I was going to die if I didn't get a liver transplant. That's a story for another day though. I met with my doctor to go over those results and he sent me in to have a HIDA scan done of my gallbladder. It shows an expulsion rate in my gallbladder of 9%, 30% being normal. So he said I have a abnormal or non-working gallbladder, something like that. So I now have to meet with a surgeon in a couple weeks to get that sucker pulled out.

The news of getting a surgery done led me to the internet to see how long I will be unable to swim, bike and run. I was not too happy with what I found. A lot of people saying that having their gallbladder removed was the worst thing they ever did. They say they suffer from all sorts of digestive problems and pains worse then when they did have the gallbladder. Not only that but the best time frame I could find about getting back to the gym was a few weeks out from surgery. So I'm stressing about all of this pretty bad. Hopefully the surgery will happen in the off season so I don't miss any of my training, but that is yet to be determined. Worst case scenario for me at this point is having chronic digestive problems and racing in Ironman Wisconsin. That could prove to be a disastrous day...

I have a bit of an anxiety problem, if you know me at all then you already know this. I try to stay ahead of the game when it comes to being sick or getting hurt. Any little pain I get I want someone, with an education, to tell me I'm ok. Even though I probably know my body better than anyone else does, something I'm starting to realize. But first the "enlarged liver" news, and now the gallbladder news. With the liver deal, the first thing I though of was Cadence with a new dad if I were no longer here. Wow, that's no fun to think about, at all. Luckily that news was false and I was able to move on. Second, the gallbladder news and the first thing that I thought about then was Ironman. I know that best case scenario I will be out for a few weeks and I am having a hard time wrapping my head around that. I really do need the time off to let my body heal and to give my head a rest from the training. So it's not that I'm worried about having to "catch up". The problem I am having has to do with whether I will be the same person after all of this. So many times in my life I have changed what I find interesting or entertaining. I have also changed friends, goals, principles, everything! My biggest fear of this surgery is not anything more than my intense fear of failing. There is no way for me or anyone to say that after this is all done that I will be back at it or if I will enjoy sitting around doing nothing too much to return. I honestly don't see that happening but I also can't tell the future and no one else can either. Will I let myself get too comfortable or will I be so anxious to get back to it that when I start I'm disappointed with my results and feel defeated? There are so many questions I have that only time can answer and with the anxiety I have about it, the situation is hard for me. Funny thing though is that I heard a quote last night on Parks 'n' Rec. I know it's not a likely place to hear an inspirational quote but it was said at the right time for it to ring true to me. "Failure isn't the going down, it's the staying down."

The New shoes, Asics 2160. The shoes I had to take back were Mizuno. Asics Are grrrreat!

My training last week was pretty good, for the most part. I thought I would try a new brand of shoe which proved to be a huge mistake. While running on Monday at a very easy pace my left calf just gave up on me. I have been limping all week because of it! I was only 4 minutes into my run and a pain just shot up my leg and I was done. I have been able to continue with my other workouts like lifting and biking so I have other things I can do, but running is so important. I really don't want to not be running for too long. Luckily next week is a recovery week so I will get some time to let it get better. Today's Yoga session seemed to have helped a lot since today is the first day I am able to walk correctly. Next week will be a light cardio with Yoga alternating each day for the entire week. I'm thinking I will just ride my bike with my HR in zone 3 for the cardio and that should be good.

These are what they looked like, but this is not my picture. http://quickfeetgoodeats.com 

Last night I made Funfetti Cake Balls to take to work. Not gonna lie, I ate some, ok alot, of them last night too. They were really good and they are all gone now. The potluck at work was pretty fun. It seems like the moral has been much better since some time last week, weird.